Secrets Read online

  “Right, what’s next, then? Have we actually been able to catch the husband with the mistress yet?” His voice sounded thick and he was the one clearing his throat this time.

  I watched him for a moment, and wondered if I’d done the same thing to him, made him nervous, hot, and eager to get naked?

  Daniel was a confident man but just then, I had to wonder about how much of that was a façade. Was he really so unaffected, so aloof, after all?

  We went through the case for another hour, and I found a way to manage to focus on what we were doing. I loved my job, I loved solving problems, and I’d become rather good at it during my time with Daniel’s company. We walked through what I’d managed to find out already, going over video I’d taken, and looking at information the wife had given us to see if we could find a new angle to play.

  I sat back from his desk and felt my back popping as I did. I pushed my shoulders back to ease the tension there and Daniel sat up too. We were both groaning in misery as we realized we’d been hunched over his desk for so long we were aching.

  “Damn. It’s dark already!” Daniel had turned to the window and I looked to see he was right.

  “I can’t wait for spring to arrive, and the sun to stay up longer.” I shifted in the seat and turned to look back at him.

  “Shall I order dinner for us? I think we have another hour or two to go over this. It’s only fair I at least provide you with something to eat.” He gave me that smile that could charm the panties right off of anybody and I hid a grin.

  “Sure, what are we having?” I glanced back up, a gleam in my jade eyes.

  “What would you like?” His head tilted, and his hair fell to his forehead, around his eyes.

  I swear, my nostrils flared, and my eyes went wide as he gave me that little boy innocent look.

  Don’t say you, don’t say you, Alayna!

  “Uh, Chinese?” I couldn’t think of anything else.

  “Sounds great, what would you like?”

  We discussed it and Daniel made the phone call while I checked my phone messages and went through my email while we waited. I did not think about taking advantage of the situation, or about popping the buttons on my white blouse, nothing like that at all. I just got back to work and ignored the man that made me lose all sensibility.

  Daniel went out to pay for the food when the delivery guy buzzed at the door, and soon we were busy digging into our boxes with chopsticks.

  Then I reached for my drink which was right beside his, with his hand on the cup, and I felt my pinky brush against his warm fingers. I shot a glance at him, my hand stilled. I never knew sudden awareness actually felt like a spark until that point in time.

  “Alayna…” He only said my name, but it was filled with so much longing that my heart ached for him, to give him what he so longed for.

  “Daniel…I…,” my words trailed off and I looked away.

  His fingers moved, and I jumped, but my hand did not move. I watched his pinky finger move along mine, my eyes locked to the way his finger moved, my lips parted, and I waited. To be struck by lightning, to have my own head tell me to move away, for him to move away.

  Or come nearer.

  “Alayna.” He said it again, more confidently, and I looked up into eyes that wanted an answer to his unspoken question, that needed one.

  “Daniel.” My lips actually trembled, and I stopped the flow of words that had almost streamed out. I felt tears prick my eyes as I fought for control of my emotions. I’d wanted him for so long, I’d been alone for so long, but he was a husband. To someone else. “I can’t do this, Daniel.”

  His finger spasmed, away from mine and I moved to stand up, I moved to leave the office, I swear I did but, somehow, I ended up in his arms instead.

  “I need you so much, Alayna. God, you have no idea how much I want you.” His lips were smashed against mine in an unsophisticated kiss, but it was magic to me.

  Daniel looked down at me as I leaned into him, his gaze pierced through the protests, and I could not look away. I could not deny him that need, no matter how much my brain said I had to run.

  I took one deep breath, a breath that pushed my breasts tight into his chest, and then our lips were fused together, his hands were buried in my hair, until he set it free, and then they were clenched in the silky tresses.

  I heard him take a sharp breath as our tongues entwined together for the first time, and my body responded to that declaration of excitement with glee. I felt the texture of his tongue against mine and wanted more. So much more.

  I didn’t even try to talk myself out of the kiss, I just wanted. I wanted this one forbidden moment with Daniel. Just this one kiss. Only one.

  2

  His mouth tasted of oranges and the sweetness of his drink. I sighed a sound of pleasure through my nose and moaned deep in my throat when his hands tightened in my hair and tilted my head. He wanted my mouth open, more, so he could go deeper, explore more.

  Daniel’s strong hands moved then, from the back of my head where he’d buried them in my hair, to my cheek, where his fingers brushed across the soft skin before they moved down to my neck.

  It was such an intimate touch, a lover’s touch. It was a sensation I hadn’t felt from another human being in a long time and it melted me against him. I heard him groan in satisfaction at the way I felt against him and gave a groan of my own when one hand found its way to my ass and pressed me deeper into the hard line between us.

  I pulled away, gasped, as his other fingers grazed at the racing pulse in my neck. I fought for air as I looked into his dazed eyes. I fought for control of my own body, a body that wanted to ignore all of my commands. His eyes were heavy-lidded, his lips wet from my kiss. I bit my lip to make sure I didn’t kiss him again.

  “Alayna.” His voice tantalized me when whispered my name, a plead.

  Was it a plea for me to make him stop? A plea to let him continue? I didn’t know, and I searched his eyes, but could not find the answer. I could not find the answer within myself either, because, while I knew it was wrong, I knew I didn’t want to stop.

  Reality hit me, he has a wife, and I moved away, too fast. I almost fell when my foot hit the chair behind me, my balance off and fate changed what should have happened. I reached out and his hand was there. He stopped my fall, but he didn’t stop me from falling.

  “No.” It was all I could think to say. “I... I can’t do this Daniel. I want to, more than anything, I want to, but I can’t.”

  I backed away some more and aimed for the door.

  “I’m sorry, Alayna. I did not mean for to happen, I don’t know why I did it.” He paused, his left hand raked through his golden hair and his jaw set in a grim line before he looked away. “This wasn’t my intention when I asked you to stay after work. I don’t know why I did that. I really am sorry.”

  “No, don’t, Daniel, don’t apologize.” I held my hands out in front of me, palms down, to try to stop anymore words. Words might change my mind, and I had to make sure this did not happen. “It’s alright, really it is. I just can’t do this.”

  I looked up at him, my eyes now the ones that held a plea. I wanted him to keep talking, to kiss me more, but I also wanted him to be the one to make it stop.

  This couldn’t happen, not now, not ever.

  “I’m going home now. We can finish this work tomorrow.” I waved at the files I’d brought in but didn’t look at him again. “Thanks so much for dinner, Daniel. Please, don’t worry about anything, alright? It’s fine, we just can’t ever do that again.”

  I had my hands wrung together, and my eyes glued to the floor. He didn’t say anything, so I turned away to leave.

  “Alayna…” Daniel’s words trailed off as I turned back to look at him.

  By now, there were tears on my face, and I knew I couldn’t hide the pain in my eyes.

  “We just can’t, Daniel. It’s too wrong.” I spoke the words through a sob then left, going to my apartment a few blocks away
.

  It was a luxuriously modern apartment complex, with a pool, palm trees for shade, and a gym. All of the things that normal people my age always wanted when they lived in a city like New Orleans. It was an upgrade from the shotgun house I’d lived in when I made my way down here nine years ago. I’d taken the job with Daniel after years of hard work, struggle, and taking online and ground school classes when I could afford to. Now, I had a decent home, at last.

  I kicked off my shoes, threw down my purse, and went straight into my bedroom to sit on the edge of my bed. I stared into the large mirror over my dresser. I saw a plain woman, or at least the image of one I’d carefully crafted over the years.

  I knew underneath the plain silk blouse, the long, shapeless black skirt, and the huge black glasses a woman with a beautiful face, a pretty but rounded body, and very alluring eyes lived in hiding. Hiding because she wasn’t just a pretty face or a plain one. She was a wolf beneath the human façade.

  I was a wolf-shifter, a woman meant to, and promised to, marry a man from another clan, and have pups, raise a family and be a servant to his clan. I hadn’t wanted that life and when my father announced my engagement at my 16th birthday party, I’d fled North Carolina.

  When I was at the university and had to take classes at the school I’d dressed like any other kid there and ended up with the other students and the professors hitting on me constantly. I wasn’t conceited, I’d just experienced enough of life that now, at 25, I was aware I needed to hide my features if I wanted to be taken seriously.

  I’d had a lover and she made me blissfully happy, I didn’t want the advances of anybody else. Yes, she, a beautiful woman from Costa Rica had made me feel complete for the first time since I could remember. I’d never felt as though I fit in at home, or at the school, until she’d walked into my life. She’d made that year of her foreign education one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

  She’d had to go back home at the end of her stay, she couldn’t afford the tuition, or the paperwork it would have required to stay so she’d left. I’d wanted to go with her, to find a way to pay for it all, but no matter what direction we tried, doors were always closed in our faces. It had broken my heart, and I hadn’t really looked at anybody else since then, not the same way. Until Daniel, that is. Daniel had changed it all.

  That didn’t mean I didn’t date, men or women. I’d dated men before I started working, I just hadn’t had sex with them. Once I started to work I’d stopped dating at all, I preferred to spend my time on work. And trying not to think about Daniel, of course.

  My drab, wallflower persona had been born of my experiences in school with the sexual attention of others. If I made myself look like a total nerd that was boring and plain I didn’t have to worry about who stared at my chest or my face. People actually listened to me and took my thoughts seriously when they weren’t distracted by my appearance. So plain and unappealing it was.

  Trust it to be Daniel that would see through my disguise. Something about me had attracted him, despite all my efforts, and it wasn’t the bun I always wore my hair in.

  I remembered the way his face had changed when my hair fell down earlier. His eyes had gone soft, focused, and completely fascinated. Was that it? My hair had changed the game?

  It was dark and silky, a healthy wolf always has a beautiful mane, after all, even in their human form. Maybe that had caught his eye before and had that had led him to look closer at the woman hiding in plain sight.

  Whatever little intriguing detail it was that had finally caught his eye, didn’t really matter in the end. What mattered was that his fascination stopped.

  I needed my job, I needed the income it brought me, but I couldn’t work in a tense environment. I couldn’t help the tension that was already there, I’d dealt with my own long enough to know I could, but this new awareness only added to the stress and I didn’t think I could stand much more.

  Somehow, I had to make sure this never happened again, that this tension would disappear, but how? That kiss couldn’t happen again, ever. I didn’t want to have an affair with Daniel, I didn’t want to hurt anyone else like that, and it was that simple. No affair.

  That’s what I told myself, anyway. My brain didn’t care what I said though, and once I was in the shower with the water hot and beating into my skin, my thoughts went right back to Daniel and the way he kissed me.

  My mind took it further though, and it was Daniel’s hands that ran the soapy washcloth over my skin. When I took down the shower head to rinse the soap away, my mind said it was Daniel’s soft lips leaving traces of wet heat along my skin. When the hot water poured down between my thighs, the jets set to pulse a pattern designed to ease sore muscles, I nearly crumbled to the floor of the shower.

  My body did as it wanted to and my will crumbled; I could think only of Daniel, and, just for a moment, allowed myself to imagine that it really was him that touched me.

  I’d learned to adjust to the human world, to control when I shifted, to take time off when I could tell that my wolf wouldn’t obey, and to hide what I was from them. I’d learned so much damned control, but that kiss with Daniel was breaking me, he was breaking every part of me, and I don’t know if I can take it.

  <><>

  Over the next few weeks, the tension remained, but it became bearable. Life went back to almost normal, but one thing was different.

  Daniel seemed to be everywhere, everywhere I went and everywhere I looked.

  He did own the agency, so perhaps it was always that he was around, and I only noticed now, after we kissed, but I suspected it was more than that. He couldn’t stay away from me. Not after he saw the real me. Or maybe he spent more time at the office now, than before, maybe that was it.

  I tried to stay calm, and not let his presence break me, especially when we were working so closely on a case together. A local judge suspected his wife was having an affair and had a contract out on him. We were working to find out if that was the case, and if so, who had been hired to do the job, before it could all go wrong.

  We’d “gone back” in our relationship, to before that kiss, I thought. Friendly, but not friends, boss and employee, nothing more. We were thrown together by circumstances, and that’s all it was.

  I didn’t think anything of it when we ended up at work alone together that evening, it had happened before, it would happen again. He needed the information I’d gathered, and we’d put it all together to see what we came up with. It wasn’t that we couldn’t stay away from each other at all. That kiss never came into my thoughts. Or so I told myself.

  I’d noted the disappearance as each of the other employees left the building, but I wasn’t waiting for the moment when we were alone again. My heart didn’t pound as the last one left, at last, and I didn’t feel my palms start to sweat in anticipation of the moment I saw him. Alone again.

  I walked to his office, my nerves already on edge, and wished I’d worn the baggy trousers today, instead of the long black skirt. It would be so easy for a palm to slide beneath it, and up between my thighs. I knew my eyes had gone wide as I felt a pulse of desire bolt through me. No, that couldn’t happen.

  The words my only real friend, Tara, had said to me the last time I spoke to her played in my head while I stood there.

  “Alayna, what’s your problem, girl? You only live once and you’re only 25. You’re a big girl, do what you want. At 35, Mr. Daniel Osbourne is most definitely a grown-ass man. A very gorgeous man, damn, a very gorgeous man.” Tara knew Daniel because she’d come to the office quite a few times over the years. She’d fallen in lust with him instantly. I didn’t think her morals were the best in the world, but she was the only person I’d trusted into my life since I’d met her at school. She didn’t know all of my secrets though, but she knew about Daniel.

  I couldn’t listen to Tara, I decided, even if I wanted to. I just couldn’t. I took a deep breath, paused, and then called out to him as I walked through his open doorway.
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  “Hey, Daniel.” I pasted on one of those tight smiles you save for work and people you don’t really like but don’t want them to know and went in. It was one of those awkward smiles that screamed you don’t really want to be there but have to be so there you are. I couldn’t help it. The longer I’d waited for my colleagues to leave, the longer I’d had to remember that kiss, and think about how much further it could go.

  Part of my problem wasn’t simply that I had loose morals, it was that my wolf wanted Daniel, it wanted him the same way it had wanted Natalia when I was in school. My wolf was something I thought I’d learned to control, but this situation with Daniel proved just how wrong I was.

  “Oh, hi Alayna, that time already? Let’s get this over with, shall we?” Daniel kept his face blank, without a hint that he was happy I was there. Not a thing showed on his face other than professional courtesy.

  That made me sigh in relief. In my own world, the wolf world, clan marriages were not treated the same way as they were in the human world. Sometimes a mate couldn’t provide pups, so the other partner went to another woman, or another man, to ensure the continuation of their line. We weren’t so strict or possessive as people were in the human world. I’d learned to adjust, and one of oddest things I’d had to learn was how cheating was one of the greatest sins you could commit. I didn’t want to jeopardize my place in this world with a stupid mistake like that. Daniel’s aloofness helped to remind me of that.

  Still, there was a part of me that felt stung over the coldness. It didn’t make any sense to me though, I dreaded any move he might make that would make me teeter over the edge, but at the same time I was sad when he didn’t? Maybe I’m losing my mind, I decided.

  I know I wasn’t mistaken when I thought the touches, the glances, or that kiss meant he wanted me. All of that had meant something to him, too. Maybe he’d satisfied his curiosity, got me out of his system with that kiss, so to speak?

  Good, I told myself as I settled into a chair in front of his desk. You don’t need that distraction anyway. I also told myself not to let the idea that one kiss had been enough sting so much. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t as tempting, as I thought, it didn’t.